[video] punch and judy

[maddest]

[Xerxes Break is combing tangles out of his little doll's hair when the whirr of the PCD alerts him to the fact that it's been turned on. The doll pipes up right away, in her irritating falsetto;]

Ow ow owowowow stop pulling!

I wouldn't have to pull if you hadn't let yourself get this tangled, Miss Emily.

[The ventriloquism is perfect. She continues;]

Help! Please! If someone on the network can hear meeee-

Don't be silly, Miss Emily, you couldn't live with anyone else. None of them would have the patience to put up with your temper or the insults you like to hurl.

Comments

[mister-hatter.livejournal.com]

Excuse me?

[le-pas-de-chat.livejournal.com]

[Oh God now she's confused. So she'll just say the same thing she was told when she asked that:]

Bitch-whore much?

[mister-hatter.livejournal.com]

Goodbye.

[le-pas-de-chat.livejournal.com]

I don't understand--

[mister-hatter.livejournal.com]

You're being incredibly rude.

[le-pas-de-chat.livejournal.com]

But your friend is insulting you.

[mister-hatter.livejournal.com]

Not nearly as much as you just did.

[le-pas-de-chat.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry. I don't understand. That's what my friends call me.

Do you want to be friends?

[mister-hatter.livejournal.com]

Being friends comes with familiarity.

[le-pas-de-chat.livejournal.com]

I'm Cameron. It's nice to meet you.

[mister-hatter.livejournal.com]

Break. Let me explain something to you, Cameron.

Profanity like that? Is only appropriate in very specific circumstances.

[le-pas-de-chat.livejournal.com]

[Genuine interest]

What circumstances?

[mister-hatter.livejournal.com]

You must know and already have a humorous relationship with the person.

[le-pas-de-chat.livejournal.com]

...I see. I don't think my friends know that. They never told me their names.

[mister-hatter.livejournal.com]

Perhaps they were trying to be cruel?

[le-pas-de-chat.livejournal.com]

Why would they do that?

[mister-hatter.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure.

[le-pas-de-chat.livejournal.com]

I wasn't trying to be cruel to you.

[mister-hatter.livejournal.com]

Well, thank you! I appreciate that.

[le-pas-de-chat.livejournal.com]

You're welcome.

Are we friends, Break?

[mister-hatter.livejournal.com]

Not yet.

[le-pas-de-chat.livejournal.com]

[That's disappointing. But aha!]

Do you want a present?

[mister-hatter.livejournal.com]

No, thank you.

[le-pas-de-chat.livejournal.com]

I have donuts.

[Every trick in the book now.]

[mister-hatter.livejournal.com]

Really?